Rubio’s Weekend Manifesto Sparks a National Emergency in Productivity
In what political observers are already calling the most bipartisan statement since everyone agreed that airport security lines are too…
BabaJide Adegoke
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Trump Takes White House Ballroom Battle to Supreme Court, Says America’s Chandelier Security Is at Stake
In a development that has reportedly elevated interior decoration to a matter of constitutional urgency, current President Donald J. Trump…
Schumer Demands Audit as White House Ballroom Budget Waltzes Toward Nearly $1 Billion
Washington has once again discovered that the most expensive thing in America may not be healthcare, defense, or college tuition—it…
Trump Reveals Security Move During Departure From Turkey Summit
The current president, Donald J. Trump, has reportedly confirmed that he secretly switched aircraft while departing the NATO summit in…
Newsom Says Trump’s “Free Plane” May Be the Most Expensive Souvenir in American History
A political storm has erupted after California Governor Gavin Newsom delivered a blistering attack on the financing behind a luxury…
Trump’s August Recess Ultimatum Leaves GOP Senators Trapped Between Washington and Voters
President Donald J. Trump’s demand that the U.S. Senate cancel its August recess until the SAVE America Act is passed…
Global Leaders And Israeli President Herzog Criticizes Zohran Mamdani Over Public Safety Concerns
Diplomatic temperature rose several degrees this week after Israeli President Isaac Herzog delivered a sharply worded rebuke of New York…
Camp David Becomes the World’s Most Expensive Group Chat as Trump Summons Televised Cabinet Showdown
President Donald J. Trump departed the White House for what aides described as a high-stakes Cabinet meeting at Camp David,…
Schumer Proposes Corruption Agency, Washington Immediately Applies for Witness Protection
Washington may soon become the first city where every press conference requires both a lawyer and a therapist. Senate Minority…
Trump Promises Iran a “Diplomatic Earthquake” After Missile Scare, Pentagon Braces for the World’s Loudest Press Conference
The geopolitical temperature rose several degrees overnight after President Donald J. Trump, the current president of the United States, declared…