Pointless Executive Orders: The Art of Doing Simply Nothing | In what can only be described as a masterclass in political theater, President Donald Trump has been on a signing spree, penning executive orders (EOs) that address problems no one is actually facing. His latest stroke of genius? An EO to defund schools that mandate COVID vaccines. The only issue? Not a single public school district in America enforces such a mandate. In other words, Trump just bravely stood up to an imaginary enemy—an impressive feat, if one enjoys shadowboxing.
The sheer volume of these pointless executive orders is staggering. More than 90% of them are either unnecessary, based on false premises, or doomed to be blocked by courts. Some appear to be little more than an attempt to throw red meat to his base, while others seem like an attempt to keep the White House printer busy. If only the same urgency were applied to real-world crises like the cost of eggs, which now feel more like luxury items than breakfast essentials.
The Great Federal Purge: When Layoffs Make Us Safer?
As if signing phantom executive orders wasn’t enough, Trump has decided to take a sledgehammer to the federal workforce. The IRS, the Department of Health and Human Services, and the Department of Agriculture are all seeing deep cuts. Most alarmingly, nearly 10% of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) workforce has been eliminated—because apparently, public health experts are expendable in a world where COVID-19 no longer exists (if you squint hard enough).
Critics, including Senator Jon Ossoff, argue that these cuts leave Americans dangerously exposed to public health risks. “This devastates careers and livelihoods for the world’s most talented doctors and scientists,” Ossoff stated. Meanwhile, the administration insists that the layoffs will somehow lead to “greater efficiency.” Because nothing says efficiency like fewer disease experts during a global health crisis!
The Judicial Brick Wall: Courts to Trump—Not So Fast
The judiciary, the last bastion of sanity, has become Trump’s biggest roadblock. His administration’s attempts to restrict healthcare for transgender youth? Blocked. His attempt to gut USAID funding? Blocked. His immigration crackdowns? Tied up in endless litigation. At this point, federal judges might as well have a stamp labeled “DOA” (Dead on Arrival) for these executive orders.
With over 70 lawsuits currently pending against his executive actions, the Trump White House is spending more time in court than an overzealous traffic violator. But hey, as long as the headlines scream “Trump Fights Back,” the illusion of action continues.
Meanwhile, in the Real World: Inflation and Economic Struggles
While the administration is busy fighting imaginary vaccine mandates and firing public health officials, Americans are facing real financial pain. Inflation continues to rise, with basic goods like eggs, milk, and gas becoming increasingly unaffordable. And yet, instead of addressing economic instability, Trump is preoccupied with tariff wars that are only making things worse.
The president’s aggressive trade policies are driving up costs for consumers, particularly in sectors like agriculture and retail. Small businesses, already struggling to stay afloat, now have to deal with increased costs due to tariffs and supply chain disruptions. But why tackle these issues when you can sign another EO declaring war on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion programs?
Pointless Executive Orders: Distraction Game To Keep the Base Engaged
If there’s one thing Trump understands, it’s distraction. His administration thrives on crises—real or fabricated as these pointless executive orders often reflect. By focusing on divisive cultural issues, he keeps his base engaged while avoiding hard questions about the economy. The formula is simple: sign an EO that addresses a hot-button issue (even if it’s nonexistent), let cable news go into a frenzy, and hope no one notices that grocery bills have doubled.
It’s the political equivalent of a magician’s sleight of hand—while you’re busy watching him pull an EO out of his hat, you don’t realize he’s quietly emptying your wallet.
“Eggflation” | The Real Crisis Scrambled by Pointless Executive Orders
Americans don’t care about imaginary vaccine mandates; they care about the fact that a dozen eggs now cost as much as a steak dinner. The rising cost of food, housing, and healthcare remains a pressing concern, yet the administration keeps dropping remixes of these pointless executive orders—each one a guaranteed chart-topper among their biggest fan club of yes-men supporters!
Instead of focusing on economic relief, Trump continues to cater to his most fervent supporters with symbolic gestures. While his followers cheer on his latest battle against wokeness, they might want to take a closer look at their grocery receipts. Because while culture wars are entertaining, they won’t make breakfast any cheaper.
America Deserves Better Than Albums of Pointless Executive Orders
At a time when real leadership is desperately needed, we’re getting a president who fights battles that don’t exist while ignoring the crises that do. Whether it’s defunding vaccine mandates that aren’t real, gutting the CDC, or pushing tariffs that make everything more expensive, these Pointless Executive Orders feel less like problem-solving and more like Trump’s actions seem designed more for political optics that no one in their right minds asked for!
The question remains: how long can this charade continue before Americans demand solutions instead of slogans? Until then, get ready for more executive orders, more court battles, and more inflation—because apparently, those are the only things this administration can reliably produce.
